$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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