is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
