Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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