I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Boobs are out for the taking
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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