I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
