I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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