the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
