Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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