Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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