sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
