he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
