I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
