You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
