just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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