I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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