he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
