doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
