32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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