Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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