I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
