He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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