i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
