i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
