I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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