Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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