Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
