u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
