Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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