You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Oh god it's open bar.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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