my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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