Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
