I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
