This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
