You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
