Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
