Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
