He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Verdict: uncircumcised.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
