when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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