haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
