just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
