my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's shark week go big or go home
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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