i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
