You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize