i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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