Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
