Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
