Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize