I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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