I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
