i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
