so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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