all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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