I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
vagina is talking i cant
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
