Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
