didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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