I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
