if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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