I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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