It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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