i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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