Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Buhtt sex?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
