Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
