i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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