I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
