i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had sex on a roof
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
