North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
