im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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