Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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