i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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