sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
