Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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